Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus, by Maude Brunton

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Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus

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Time: Near Christmas

Scenes: Three interiors—I, The Fairy Queen’s Palace; II, Home of Santa Claus; III, Home of Prince’s Mother;
IV, Same as II.

COSTUMES AND PROPERTIES

Santa Claus neglects his Christmas duties, for he has fallen in love with a beautiful girl, the Queen of the Fairies. The Queen also, being completely occupied with her consideration of Santa’s suit, neglects her duty of seeing that the Christmas trees, holly and turkeys are made to grow for Christmas.

The President of the United States sends a Messenger to find out what is the matter, but he cannot gain audience with the Queen nor Santa. He appeals to the Queen’s fairy attendants to help him out. So they transform him into a Fairy Prince, and he seeks the Queen’s hand in marriage. The Queen and the Prince are soon so much in love that the Prince forgets to remind the Queen of her Christmas duties.

The little fairies are now much puzzled, but the Queen’s maids, Flossie Fixit and the Elf Gossip, and the Fairy Messenger, Thomas Page, undertake to solve the problem. They must not only arouse the Queen to her responsibilities, but Santa as well.

They first bring Santa to see the Queen’s response to the Prince’s love making, but when he is unhappy over it, they tell him to forget his troubles by making other people happy. So he goes home and sets to work properly, making toys and other gifts for Christmas.

Then the little folks wonder how they can get the Queen to do her part. She has told her attendants not to interrupt her when a guest is present except in a matter of life and death.

Flossie Fixit and Thomas Page get up a telegram[Pg 8] which Thomas Page hands to the Prince. It states that his home is on fire and that his mother will be burned up unless he makes haste to rescue her. The Prince flies to his mother.

Flossie Fixit puts the Prince into a deep sleep. Gossip spreads the report that the Prince has been burned up in the fire.

The Queen is so grief-stricken that they are afraid she will die, and Billy Bundy brings Santa Claus to console her. Then her old love for Santa returns, and she takes refuge in his comforting old arms. Finally she says:

So Santa Claus and the Fairy Queen are married. Santa Claus takes his bride home and, as it is the very day before Christmas, he immediately puts her to work making the Christmas trees, holly and turkeys grow. By noon all is finished and Santa Claus starts off on his tour, distributing gifts to all the little children in the world, flying first of course to the side of the world which is dark. He tries to get the Queen to go with him to help distribute the gifts, but she refuses, saying she has done her part of the work. Santa tells her she is not a very satisfactory wife for a Santa Claus. She smiles at him reproachfully, but will not go. Santa wraps the little Queen in his arms for a moment and then goes alone.

The Fairy Queen grieves, thinking Santa doesn’t love her any more, and she says: “Oh, why did the Prince have to die?”

Billy Bundy, the Fairy Minister, says to Flossie Fixit: “Sister Flossie, the Queen is very unhappy. What[Pg 9] can we do? What can we do? You’ve got her married to the wrong man.”

“The Prince is asleep,” says Flossie, “but I will now awaken him.” To this end she picks up the Queen’s wand and waves it back and forth three times.

The Queen, awakening, looks through Santa’s spy glass and sees the Prince coming back. She flies out of the door to meet him.

The Elf Gossip enters, announcing that the Prince has arrived and the Queen has gone off with him. Thomas Page goes out to see what can be done about it.

The Elf Gossip picks up the spy glass. Suddenly she calls Billy and Flossie to look through the spy glass at Santa Claus on his travels.

He comes to an old lady all dressed in red, evidently intending to play Santa Claus. There are a tree and stockings by the chimney which Santa Claus comes down, and a sign: “For my long lost son.” She is alone and weeping. Santa comforts her and then invites her to go on his trip to act as Mrs. Santa Claus, as he needs help. She goes, and both she and Santa think this great fun. Elf Gossip declares Santa Claus has kissed the old lady.

“I would get a divorce, but I just can’t think of breaking dear old Santa’s heart. He is such a darling.”

Santa, who (with the old lady) has returned for more toys, enters the door at this point, looking playfully severe; there is a twinkle in his eye.

“Ah, forgive me for being here,” he says, “I have done the little Queen no harm.”

Thomas Page enters, blowing a horn. He announces: “The Supreme Court has ordered me to pronounce the Queen’s marriage null and void, because any marriage is illegal which takes place between a human being and a fairy. In the Court’s judgment, Santa Claus is human.”

Billy Bundy steps forward and the Prince says to the Queen: “Here is the minister ready to marry us.”

The Queen says she feels she ought to transform Santa into a fairy and marry him over again. The Prince is disconsolate.

Santa says: “Cheer up, Prince. I don’t want to be transformed into a fairy. I would rather be human. I am going to give you to each other as my Christmas gift to you.”

Santa then brings in the old lady, who is immediately clasped in the arms of the Prince. He says:

Santa Claus announces: “The Prince’s mother is going to be Mrs. Santa Claus.”

Billy Bundy approaches, and the two couples place themselves before him, one on each side, while he says: “I pronounce you husband and wife.”

Curtain opens, revealing a handsome Christmas tree, with an enormous stocking marked, “For Santa Claus,” and from it a book on which Santa reads: “How Young Husbands Can Make Their Wives Happy.”

Santa is jubilant over his stocking and the book. He examines the other gifts and distributes them.

Billy Bundy says: “We should not keep Santa here to distribute our gifts. Half the little children in the world are waiting for him.”

The reindeer drive up to the door. Santa and Mrs. Santa drive off, Mrs. Santa calling back: “We will bring some of the little children back with us.”

All dance around the Christmas tree singing: “The Christmas Tree.” Santa and Mrs. Santa return, with a troop of little folks from the audience, to whom they distribute gifts. They are jovial and cordial in their greetings, while the Fairy Queen and the Prince are gracious and delightful. All the little fairies help, distributing the gifts among the audience, crying: “Merry [Pg 12]Christmas!”

The music to all of the words, as well as the instrumental selections called for, will be found in the New Common School Song Book,1 published by Beckley-Cardy Co., Chicago. May be sung by chorus on the side or rendered as instrumental music.

SCENE I

Discovered, Fairy Queen, Thomas Page, Billy Bundy, Tiny Tim, Flossie Fixit, Elf Gossip, Extra Fairies, including [if desired] Mary Mixit and Johnnie Jumpup.

All the Little Fairies dancing around Queen suddenly stop as Santa Claus outside, knocks on the door and rings bells.

Thomas Page. I hear a knock at the door—and bells! Oh, it must be Santa Claus!

Tiny Tim [runs to the door and opens it]. Come in, Santa Claus. We are very glad to see you.

Santa and Queen dance together. The Little Fairies again form ring around them and all dance. Queen raises her wand and the ring breaks. Queen and Santa dance out of the ring and exit[Pg 16] into the garden. The Little Fairies stop dancing, and curtsey “Good-bye.” A knock is heard on the door.

Young Man [bows to them all]. I am a messenger from the President of the United States.

All the Fairies. Oh, Mr. Messenger, we are so glad to see you. [They all shake hands with him.]

Young Man. What is the matter here? The little children all over the world are wondering if Christmas is going to be late. There are no Christmas trees growing, no holly or turkeys.

Thomas Page. Santa Claus is madly in love with the Fairy Queen, and he and the Queen have forgotten their Christmas duties. I propose that we break up this love affair.

Billy Bundy. Why doesn’t your President, as Commander in Chief of the United States Army, order troops out to bring Santa Claus to time?

Flossie Fixit. Oh, don’t. He’s not really bad. I suggest that you, Mr. Messenger, allow us to transform you into a fairy prince, so you can win the Queen’s hand in marriage. When Santa Claus recovers from the shock, he’ll be glad enough to attend to his Christmas duties.

Messenger. And you think I will meet those requirements? You really want me to stay and win the Queen’s hand in marriage? The only problem is my poor old mother, who lives all alone and will wonder what has become of me.

Thomas Page pulls off his Messenger’s long coat and carries it away. Flossie Fixit takes off his hat. Gossip puts on him a fairy prince’s hat, and Billy Bundy puts on him a fairy prince’s jacket. Messenger stands complete as a Fairy Prince. Queen enters. She is astonished to see the Prince. Prince bows gracefully. All the Fairies bowing, exit. Queen graciously extends her wand to Prince.

Prince. Lovely Queen of the Fairies, I have come to win you as my wife. [He kneels.]

[Queen extends her hand. Prince takes it in his own and kisses it, cavalier fashion.]

Queen [lifts him to his feet]. But I have about promised to marry Santa Claus. I love him because he is so good.

Queen [smiles, but speaks earnestly]. Santa Claus has no follies except his love for me.

Prince. Queen of my heart, listen to me. Some day you will want a fairy heir to the throne. So you must have a fairy husband.

Prince. I beg your pardon—Santa is not a fairy. Santa Claus is human. [With this he places on her lips a very tender kiss. That kiss has magic power.]

Queen’s breast heaves with delight and the spirit of youth and an almost childish happiness takes possession of her. Queen and Prince dance out of the room into the garden.

Gossip enters with old Santa. She takes him where he can look into the garden. Santa Claus looks much surprised and disappointed.

Santa Claus. I suppose love making belongs to youth and to fairies, but not to saints.

Flossie Fixit [entering]. Forget your troubles by making other people happy. All the little children in the world are looking to you for a beautiful Christmas.

Santa Claus [bravely]. That’s so. I had forgotten. I will go right home now where I belong and get the toys and things ready. [Exit.]

Billy Bundy [entering]. Now that you have got Santa Claus down to business, what will you do to get the Queen to do her part? She told us never to interrupt her when a guest is present unless it is a matter of life and death.

Prince and Queen enter, much absorbed in each other. Thomas Page hands telegram to Prince.

Prince [reads aloud the telegram]. “Come quickly. The house is on fire. I will be burned up if you do not rescue me. Mother.”

Prince. Oh, my poor Mother! [Gazing into the face of the Queen.] But how can I leave you?

Queen. Let all the fairies go with him and help him put out the fire except Flossie Fixit, Billy Bundy and Thomas Page.

Fairies exit, Mary Mixit and Johnnie Jumpup leading. Queen becomes absorbed in thought and does not see Santa Claus enter and, unobserved, exit dolefully.

Santa Claus [at doorway to Flossie Fixit]. Her thoughts are with the Prince. We dare not disturb her. I have the toys and gifts all ready, but how are we to get the Queen to make the trees and holly and turkeys grow?

Gossip [at doorway, to Flossie]. I will tell everybody the prince was burned up in the fire.

Flossie Fixit. Don’t let Santa Claus know. He won’t be a party to any mischief.

Gossip exit and re-enter, talking in low voice to Flossie. Queen anxiously awaits the Prince’s return. Goes to the door, watching for him.

Flossie Fixit [with Gossip walks across the room to where the Queen has been standing. She picks up the Queen’s wand and waves it back and forth three times, saying]. This will put the prince into a deep sleep.

Queen [seeing Gossip and Flossie Fixit talking]. What are you people talking about? Have you had any news about the Prince? [Flossie Fixit appears afraid to tell.]

Flossie Fixit. I hear he was burned up in the fire and all the little fairies who went with him.

Billy Bundy. I cannot find out where the Prince lives, but everybody says he and the fairies who went with him were all burned up in the fire.

Thomas Page. We have searched everywhere and all we hear is that he was burned up in the fire.

[Queen, in despair, weeps, wringing her hands. Peers out of the window, then leans her head sobbing on the window casement.]

Billy Bundy [aside to Flossie Fixit]. This is no joke. What have you done? The poor Queen may die or go mad. If that is a false report, the one who started the lie deserves himself to be burned up in the fire. Lying is never right.

Billy Bundy [exit and soon returns with Santa Claus, whom he ushers up to the Queen]. Santa Claus, we are afraid the Queen will die. Won’t you try to comfort her?

Santa Claus lays a gentle hand on the Queen’s shoulder. Shows her the greatest sympathy.

Queen [takes refuge in Santa’s comforting old arms. She says finally]. I love you, Santa. I will marry you.

SCENE II

Interior of Santa Claus’ Home. Two months later.
Discovered at the door Flossie Fixit and Gossip, singing and dancing.

Queen [seeing toys everywhere, remarks playfully]. Such housekeeping! Just like an old bachelor!

Santa Claus [hurriedly clears the place up, then hands the Queen his spy glass and she looks through]. See all the little children looking for Santa Claus. And see, they have no Christmas trees, holly, or turkeys.[Pg 23] Won’t you make these things grow right away? The candies, toys and other gifts are all ready.

Queen [playfully]. I’m kind of tired. I’ve only been married one hour, and you want to put me to work.

Queen. I can see you are going to be a very bossy husband. Did I promise to obey?

Fairy Queen raises her wand. Flossie Fixit, Billy Bundy and Thomas Page enter.

Flossie, Billy and Thomas exit, curtseying and very happy at receiving this order at last.

Santa Claus busies himself gathering toys together and doing up bundles. Finally points to the clock, as music ceases. It is noon.

Santa Claus [gathering up his bundles, hurries to the door and speaks jovially]. Come, Mrs. Santa, we must now distribute the gifts.

Santa Claus [stands dumbfounded a moment]. The time is so short now. I cannot distribute all the gifts in time without your help.

Santa Claus [starts regretfully for his sleigh. Coming back, playfully]. You are not a very satisfactory wife for a Santa Claus. [Queen looks reproachfully at him.]

Santa Claus gathers the little Queen in his arms for a moment, then exit. Enters sleigh and reindeer prances off, bells ringing.

Queen [throwing herself upon the couch, gracefully, but sadly]. I don’t believe Santa Claus loves me any more. Oh, why did the Prince have to die? [She weeps. Presently she falls asleep.]

Flossie Fixit [to Billy Bundy and Thomas Page]. Step softly. The Queen is asleep.

Billy Bundy. Sister Flossie, the Queen is very unhappy. You’ve got her married to the wrong man. What can we do? What can we do?

Flossie Fixit. He has been asleep. But I’ll awaken him now. [Picks up Queen’s wand and waves it slowly back and forth three times.]

Queen [notices Santa’s spy glass, picks it up, and looks through it]. Oh, the Prince is coming! Am I dreaming? The Prince, the Prince! Oh, my beautiful[Pg 25] Prince! [She drops the spy glass, and runs out of the door to meet the Prince.]

Gossip [enters]. Did you hear the news? The Prince has returned, and the Queen has gone off with him. [Flossie smiles.]

Flossie Fixit. Well, we have got the Christmas things all made, and the little children all over the world will be happy.

Thomas Page. But we must find a way to make the Fairy Queen happy, too, or she will die, and the little children won’t have any Christmas trees, holly or turkeys next year.

Gossip [playfully]. Why didn’t some of you goody, goody, wise people frame up a scheme that would have helped the children out without making the Queen suffer?

Flossie Fixit. But there wasn’t any time to lose. You’ll see. It will come out all right.

Thomas Page. I’ll have to see what can be done to make it come out right. I shall see the Fairy Judge of the Supreme Court.

Santa Claus in his travels, as seen through the glass, coming down a certain chimney, finds an old lady dressed all in red. She evidently intends to play Mrs. Santa Claus. There is a tree, and stockings[Pg 26] by the fireplace, and Santa Claus reads a sign:

Curtain opens in the direction in which the spy glass is pointing, showing scene described (Scene III).

SCENE III

Santa Claus [who has just come down the chimney]. Ho! Ho! What’s this? Crying? At Christmas time?

Old Lady [sobs]. Oh, I didn’t think you were coming at all; it got so late. So I thought I would play Mrs. Santa Claus. But my only son is away. So what’s the use? I thought surely he would come home for Christmas.

Santa Claus [puts his arm about her]. Never mind. You come along with me. I need a Mrs. Santa Claus to help me distribute the gifts. Perhaps we’ll come across your son in our travels.

SCENE IV

Billy Bundy [looking through the spy glass]. Oh, they are having such a lovely time as they enter the different houses and distribute the gifts! The old lady makes a real good Mrs. Santa Claus.

Flossie Fixit [looking through]. They have used up all the gifts now and are coming home for more.

Gossip [taking the glass and looking through]. Oh, he has kissed her! Isn’t that dreadful? But I guess the little Fairy Queen won’t care, now that the Prince has come back.

Billy Bundy [taking the glass]. Let me see. I don’t believe he kissed her at all. He wouldn’t do such a thing. It is very wrong to think bad things about people which never happen. [Flossie and Gossip laugh.]

Santa Claus. I would like to, but I am too tender-hearted. I must protect the Queen from the scandal-mongers.

Flossie Fixit [looking through window]. Oh, the Queen and the Prince are coming!

Santa Claus and the Old Lady exit behind curtain. Queen and Prince enter.

Queen. I would get a divorce, but I just can’t think of breaking dear old Santa’s heart. He is such a darling!

Santa Claus enters at door, pretends to look very severe, but there is a twinkle in his eye.

Prince [falling on his knees]. Oh, forgive me for being here. I have done the little Queen no harm.

Thomas Page [in triumphant spirit, enters, blowing a horn]. The Supreme Court has ordered me to pronounce the Queen’s marriage null and void, because any marriage is illegal which takes place between a human being and a fairy. In the court’s judgment Santa Claus is human.

Queen. I believe I ought to transform Santa into a fairy and marry him over again. [Prince shows great disappointment.]

Santa Claus. Cheer up, Prince. I don’t want to be transformed into a fairy. I would rather be human. I am going to give you to each other as my Christmas gift to you.

[Queen, kneeling, kisses Santa’s hand gratefully. Santa Claus lifts her to her feet, and places her hand in the hand of the Prince, then brings into[Pg 30] the room the Old Lady, who is immediately clasped in the arms of her son, the Prince.]

All the Little Fairies [including those supposedly burned up in the fire entering, clap their hands]. Let’s have a double wedding!

[Gossip and Flossie Fixit put wedding veils on the Old Lady and the Queen. Queen and Prince stand to the left facing Billy Bundy. Santa and Old Lady stand to the right facing Billy Bundy.]

Curtain opens, showing handsome Christmas tree. Santa Claus discovers an enormous stocking marked: “For Santa Claus,” and a big book from which he reads: “How Young Husbands Can Make Their Wives Happy.” He bows his thanks, grinning broadly, examines other gifts on the tree and distributes them. The Fairies are delighted with their gifts.

Billy Bundy. Oh, we shouldn’t keep Santa Claus here to distribute our gifts. Half the little children in the world are waiting for him.

Mr. and Mrs. Santa [hurriedly enter the sleigh and drive off, waving gayly and shouting]. Good-bye!

Fairy Queen. We will destroy the illusion of time so the little children won’t know it is so late.

Santa Claus [calling back]. Even so, I am afraid some of them will have to have their gifts on Christmas Day instead of Christmas Eve.

Mrs. Santa Claus [calling back]. We will bring some of the little children back with us.

All the Fairies, Prince and Queen leading, dance around the Christmas tree, singing.

Mr. and Mrs. Santa enter, with a crowd of children from the audience. They are very cordial and jovial as they distribute gifts to youngsters.

Fairy Queen and Prince shake hands with everybody. They are gracious and delightful.

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Animal-Land Children—Flora—Grades 2-3	$0.70
Bow-Wow and Mew-Mew—Craik—Grades 1-2	.55
A Child’s Robinson Crusoe—Nida—Grades 2-3	.65
Father Thrift and His Animal Friends—Sindelar—Grades 2-3	.70
The Like-To-Do Stories—Smith—Grades 2-3	.70
Nixie Bunny in Manners-Land—Sindelar—Grades 2-3	.70
Nixie Bunny in Workaday-Land—Sindelar—Grades 2-3	.70
Nixie Bunny in Holiday-Land—Sindelar—Grades 2-3	.70
Nixie Bunny In Faraway-Lands—Sindelar—Grades 2-3	.70
Nonsense Rhymes and Animal Stories—Deming—Grades 2-3	.65
Story of the American Flag—Fallows—Grades 5-8	.70
The Teenie Weenies—Donahey-Baker—Grades 2-3	.70
Two Indian Children of Long Ago—Taylor—Grades 2-3	.70

Santa Claus	Who Neglects His Christmas Duties
Mrs. Santa Claus	The Prince’s Mother
Fairy Queen	A Beautiful Girl
Fairy Prince	Who Falls in Love with the Queen
Thomas Page	The Fairy Messenger
Billy Bundy	The Fairy Minister
Tiny Tim	The Fairy Usher
Flossie Fixit }	The Queen’s Maids
Elf Gossip }	The Queen’s Maids

Mary Mixit	Another of the Queen’s Maids
Johnnie Jumpup	The Fairy Clown
Other Fairies	As many as may be desired

Scene I
	page in book
Christmas Bells	69
Holly and Mistletoe	74
Valentine Song	88
Lady Autumn	44
Santa Claus’ Land	69
Scene II
The Happiest Christmas Day	77
The Owl	42
Scene IV
Santa Claus Is Coming	70
Santa Lucia	149
The Christmas Tree	73
Tunes for Verses Sung by Fairies
Scene I
Auld Lang Syne	148
Scene II
Glad Christmas Bells	72

Primary Seat Work, Sense Training and Games—Smith	$0.85
Primary Sewing and Color Cards—Cleaveland: No. 1, Animal Series; No. 2, Fairy-Tale Series; No. 3, Children-of-the-World Series. Each set	.25
Straight-Line Sewing Cards—Cleaveland	.25

Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus

SUPPLEMENTARY READERS

THE PROGRESSIVE SCHOOL CLASSICS

CHARACTERS

COSTUMES AND PROPERTIES

THE STORY OF THE PLAY

MUSICAL NUMBERS