Project Gutenberg's The Rubaiyat of Omar Cayenne, by Gelett Burgess This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org Title: The Rubaiyat of Omar Cayenne Author: Gelett Burgess Release Date: February 25, 2009 [EBook #28184] Language: English Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR CAYENNE *** Produced by Geetu Melwani, Dave Morgan, Martin Pettit and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from scanned images of public domain material from the Google Print project.) THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR CAYENNE BY GELETT BURGESS NEW YORK FREDERICK A STOKES COMPANY PUBLISHERS Copyright, 1904, BY GELETT BURGESS _Published December, 1904_ THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR CAYENNE I Wake! For the Hack can scatter into flight Shakespere and Dante in a single Night! The Penny-a-liner is Abroad, and strikes Our Modern Literature with blithering Blight. II Before Historical Romances died, Methought a Voice from Art's Olympus cried, "When all Dumas and Scott is still for Sale, Why nod o'er drowsy Tales, by Tyros tried?" III A cock-sure Crew with Names ne'er heard before Greedily shouted--"Open then the Door! You know how little Stuff is going to live, But where it came from there is plenty More." IV Now the New Year reviving old Desires, The Artist poor to Calendars aspires, But of the Stuff the Publisher puts out Most in the Paper Basket soon suspires. V Harum indeed is gone, and Lady Rose, And Janice Meredith, where no one knows; But still the Author gushes overtime, And many a Poet babbles on in Prose. VI Aldrich's lips are lock'd; but people buy High-piping Authoresses, boomed sky-high. "How Fine!"--the Publisher cries to the Mob, That monumental Cheek to justify. VII Come, fill the Purse, to Publishers, this Spring, Your Manuscripts of paltry Passion bring: The New York Times has oft a little Way Of praising--let The Times your praises sing. VIII Whether by Century or Doubleday, Whether Macmillan or the Harpers pay, The Publisher prints new books every Year; The Critics will keep Busy, anyway! IX Each Morn a thousand Volumes brings, you say; Yes, but who reads the Books of Yesterday? And this first Autumn List that brings the New Shall take The Pit and Mrs. Wiggs away. X Well, let it take them! What, are we not through With Richard Calmady and Emmy Lou? Let Ade and Dooley guy us as they will, Or Ella Wheeler Wilcox--heed not you. XI With me despise this kind of Fiction rude That just divides the Rotten from the Good, Where names of Poe and Dickens are forgot-- And Peace to Thackeray with his giant Brood! XII A Book of Limericks--Nonsense, anyhow-- Alice in Wonderland, the Purple Cow Beside me singing on Fifth Avenue-- Ah, this were Modern Literature enow! XIII Some for the stories of The World; and some Sigh for the Boston Transcript till it come; Ah, take The Sun, and let The Herald go, Nor heed the Yellow Journalistic scum! XIV Look to the blowing Advertiser--"Lo, Booming's the way," he says, "to make Books go! I advertise until I've drained my Purse, And huge Editions on the Market throw." XV And those who made a Mint off Miss MacLane, And those who shuddered at her Jests profane, Alike consigned her to Oblivion, And buried once, would not dig up again. XVI Anthony Hope men set their hearts upon-- Like Conan Doyle he prospered; and anon, Remained unopened on the dusty Shelf, Delighting us an Hour--and then was gone. XVII Think, in this gaudy monthly Magazine Whose Covers are Soapette and Breakfastine, How Author after Author with his Tale Fills his fool Pages, and no more is seen. XVIII They say that now Miss Myra Kelly reaps Rewards that Howells used to have for Keeps: And Seton, that great Hunter of Wild Beasts Has Coin ahead; Cash comes to him in Heaps! XIX I sometimes think that never Prose is read So good as that by Advertising bred, And every Verse Sapolian poets sing Brings laurel wreaths once twin'd for Spenser's head. XX And this audacious Author, young and green In Smart Set--surely you know whom I mean-- Ah, look upon him lightly! for who knows But once in Lippincott's he wrote unseen! XXI Ah, my Belovèd, write the Book that clears TO-DAY of dreary Debt and sad Arrears; _To-morrow!_--Why, To-morrow I may see My Nonsense popular as Edward Lear's. XXII For some we've read, the month's Six Selling Best The Bookman scored with elephantine Jest, Have sold a half a Million in a Year, Yet no one ever heard of them, out West! XXIII And we, that now within the Editor's Room Make merry while we have our little Boom, Ourselves must we give way to next month's Set-- Girls with Three Names, who know not Who from Whom! XXIV Ah, make the most of what we yet may do, Before our Royalties have vanish'd, too, Book after Book, and under Book to lie, Sans Page, sans Cover, Reader--or Review! XXV Alike for those who for TO-DAY have Shame, And those who strive for some TO-MORROW'S Fame, A Critic from anonymous Darkness cries, "Fools, your Reward will fool you, just the Same!" XXVI Why, e'en Marie Corelli, who discuss'd Of the Two Worlds so learnedly, is thrust Like Elbert Hubbard forth; her Words to Scorn Are scatter'd, and her Books by Critics cussed. XXVII Myself when young did eagerly peruse James, Meredith and Hardy--but to lose My Reason, trying to make Head or Tail; The more I read, the more did they confuse. XXVIII With them the Germs of Madness did I sow, And with "Two Magics" sought to make it grow; Yet this was all the Answer that I found-- "What it is all about, I do not know!" XXIX Into the Library, and _Why_ not knowing, Nor _What I Want_, I find myself a-going; And out of it, with Nothing fit to Read-- Such is the Catalogue's anæmic Showing. XXX What, without asking, to be hypnotized Into a Sale of Stevenson disguised? Oh, many a page of Bernard Shaw's last Play Must drown the thought of Novels Dramatized! XXXI Up from the Country, into gay Broadway I came, and bought a Scribner's, yesterday, And many a Tale I read and understood, But not the master-tale of Kipling's "They." XXXII There was a Plot to which I found no Key; And Others seem to be as Dull as Me; Some little talk there was of Ghosts, and Such, Then Mrs. Bathurst left me more at Sea! XXXIII Kim could not answer--Sherlock Holmes would fail-- The most enlightened Browningite turn pale In futile Wonder and in blank Dismay; Say, is there ANY Meaning to that Tale? XXXIV Then of the Critic, he who works behind The Author's back, I tried the Clue to find; But he, too, was in Darkness; and I heard A Literary Agent say--"THEY ALL ARE BLIND!" XXXV Then, from the lips of Editor, I learn, "This Story is the Kind for which I Yearn; Its Advertising brought us such Renown, We jumped Three Hundred Thousand, on that Turn!" XXXVI I think the man exaggerated some His increased Circulation,--but, I vum! If I could get Two Thousand for one Tale, I'd write him Something that would simply Hum! XXXVII For I remember, shopping by the way, I saw a Novel writ by Bertha Clay; And there was scrawled across its Title-Page, "This is the Stuff that Sells--so People say!" XXXVIII Listen--a moment listen!--Of the same Wood-pulp on which is printed Hewlett's Name, The "Duchess" Books are made--in fifty years They both will rot asunder--who's to Blame?" XXXIX And not a Book that from our Shelves we throw To the Salvation Army, but shall go To vitiate the Taste of some poor Soul Who can get nothing else to read--go Slow! XL As then the Poet for his morning Sup Fills with a Metaphor his mental Cup, Do you devoutly read your Manuscripts That Someone may, before you burn them up! XLI Perplex'd no more with editorial "Nay" To-morrow's Reputation cast away, And lose your College Education in The flippant, foolish Fiction of To-day. XLII And if the Bosh you write, the Trash you read, End in the Garbage Barrel--take no Heed; Think that you are no worse than other Scribes, Who scribble Stuff to meet the Public Need. XLIII So, when WHO'S-WHO records your silly Name, You'll think that you have found the Road to Fame; And though ten thousand other Names are there, You'll fancy you're a Genius, just the Same! XLIV Why, if an Author can fling Art aside, And in a Book of Balderdash take Pride, Wer't not a Shame--wer't not a Shame for him A Conscientious Novel to have tried? XLV Writing's a Trade where Newspapers pay best; LeGallienne this Verity confess'd; So join the Union, like the rest of us-- Who strikes for Art is looked at as a Jest. XLVI And fear not, if the Editor refuse Your work, he has no more from which to choose; The Literary Microbe shall bring forth Millions of Manuscripts too bad to use. XLVII When Fitch's Comedies have all gone past, Oh, the long Time Pinero's plays shall last, Which of Belasco's little Triumphs heed As Frohman's Self should heed a Bowery Cast! XLVIII A Moment's Halt--Pray see this charming, chaste Ladies' Home Journal--"On the New Shirt Waist"-- "Advice to Girls," and so forth--here is reach'd The Nothing women yearn for, undebased! XLIX Would you a hurried Lunch Hour wish to spend About THE SECRET--hearken to me, Friend! The Editors themselves must guess their Way-- And on their Wives' and Sisters' Hints depend! L A Hair perhaps divides the Good from Bad; And Bok himself a Lot of Trouble had Before he found Stenographers were Wise-- Then, as they laughed or wept, his Soul was glad. LI The Woman's Touch runs through our Magazines; For her the Home-and-Mother Tale, and Scenes Of Love-and-Action, Happy at the End-- The same old Plots, the same old Ways and Means. LII The Theme once guess'd, the Tale's as good as told, Though Dialect and Local Color mould; This Style will last throughout Eternity, While Women buy our Books--if Books are sold. LIII But if, in spite of this, you build a Plot Which these immortal Elements has not, You gaze TO-DAY upon a Slip, which reads: "The Editor Regrets"--and such-like Rot. LIV Waste not your Ink, and don't attempt to use That Subtle Touch which Editors refuse; Better be jocund at two cents a word Than, starving, court an ill-requited Muse! LV You know, my Friends, I've done with Purple Cows, And long to sober Fiction paid my Vows; Spontaneous Glee is mighty hard to Sell-- 'Twas Carolyn Wells that shot across _my_ Bows. LVI For Stuff and Nonsense being in my Line, As Nonsense modern Fiction I define; But of the sort that one would care for, I Can find but Little--and that Little's mine! LVII Ah, but this wholesale Satire, you may say, Makes me pretend to be a Critic--Nay! Rather be roasted than to roast, say I; And I have been well roasted, by the way! LVIII And lately, in a Studio, a Miss Sat smiling o'er a Book--and it was this: "The Pipes of Pan"--she showed it me, and read, Bidding me pay attention--it was Bliss! LIX Bliss Carman, who with genius absolute, My poor satiric Logic can confute; The only Poet who, in modern Days, His Poems can to clinking Gold transmute! LX The vagrant Singer, how does he, good Lord, Compete with such a money-making Horde Of tinsel rhymesters that infest the Shops? They say he makes enough to pay his Board! LXI Why, be our Talent truly Art, how dare Refuse our Lucubrations everywhere? And if it's Rot, as our Rejections hint, God knows the things they print are Rot, for Fair! LXII I must abjure Dramatic Force, I must Take the Sub-Editor's decree on Trust, Or, lured by hope of selling something Good, Write out my Heart--then burn it in Disgust! LXIII Oh, threats of Failure, hopes of Royalties! One thing at least I've sold--these Parodies; One thing is certain, Satire always sells; The Roast is read, no matter where it is. LXIV Strange, is it not? that of the Authors who Publish in England, such a mighty Few Make a Success, though here they score a Hit? The British Public knows a Thing or Two! LXV By Revelations of the Past we've learn'd The Yankee Author usually is burn'd; All of our Story Writers say the Same; The London Critic all their Books have spurn'd. LXVI I sent my Agent where the Buyers dwell, Some clever Stories of my own to sell: And by and by the Agent said to me, "One thing I sold--that's doing Mighty Well!" LXVII So Heaven seems tame indeed when I behold Editions of Five Hundred Thousand sold; When Clippings show how Critics scorch me, then Hell's Roasting seems comparatively Cold! LXVIII We are no other than a passing Show Of clumsy Mountebanks that come and go To please the General Public; now, who gave To IT the right to judge, I'd like to know? LXIX Impotent Writers bound to feed ITS taste For Literature and Poetry debased; Hither and thither pandering we strive, And one by one our Talents are disgraced. LXX The Scribe no question makes of Verse or Prose, But what the Editor demands he shows; And he who buys three thousand words of Drule, _He_ knows what People want--you Bet He knows! LXXI The facile Scribbler writes; and, having writ, No Rules of Rhetoric bother him a Bit, Or lure him back to cancel half a Line, Nor Grammar's protests change a Word of it. LXXII And though you wring your Hands and wonder Why Such slipshod Work the Magazines will buy, Don't grumble at the Editor, for he Must serve the Public, e'en as You and I. LXXIII With Puck's first joke, they did the last Life feed, And there of Judge's Stories sowed the Seed: And the first jokelet that Joe Miller wrote The Sunday Comic-Section readers read. LXXIV YESTERDAY _This_ Day's popular Song supplants; TO-MORROW'S will be even worse, perchance: Drink! For the latest Coon-Song's floating by: Drink! Now the music is an Indian Dance! LXXV I tell you this--When, started from the Goal, The first Plantation Ditty 'gan to roll Through Minstrel Troupes and Negro Baritones In its predestined race from Pole to Pole, LXXVI The Song had caught a Rag-Time girls could shout And Piano-Organs make a Din about; But syncopated Melodies at last Will pass away, and more shall come, no doubt. LXXVII And this I know: though Vaudeville delight, Musical Comedy can bore me quite; One act of Ibsen from the Gallery caught, Better than Daly for a festal Night! LXXVIII What! out of senseless Show-Girls to evoke A Drama? Surely, I resent the Joke! For me, it is not Pleasure, but a Pain-- An Everlasting Bore for decent Folk. LXXIX What, must the Theatre Manager be paid-- Our Gold for what his Carpenter has made-- Must we pay Stars we never did Contract, And cannot hiss at?--Oh, the sorry trade! LXXX Oh Thou, who dost with cool sarcastic Grin Scorn the poor Magazine my Story's in, Though Thou impute to ignorance my Work, I know how bad 't will be, ere I begin! LXXXI Oh Thou, whose Taste demandeth silly Tales, Damning the Author when he Tries and Fails, Let us toss up to see which one is Worse-- Thy Fault or mine--Which is it, Heads or Tails? * * * * * LXXXII As, for his Luncheon Hour, away had slipp'd The Editor, his Office-Boy I tipp'd, And once again before the Sacred Desk I stood, surrounded by much Manuscript. LXXXIII Manuscripts of all Sizes, great and small, Upon that Desk, in Numbers to appall! And Some looked very interesting; some I saw no Sign of Merit in, at all. LXXXIV Said one among them--"Surely not in vain My Author has exhausted all his Brain In writing me, to be rejected here-- I'd hate to have to be sent back again!" LXXXV Then said a Second--"Ne'er a Girl or Boy Such Stuff as I am really could enjoy: Yet He who wrote me, when I am return'd, Will me with Curse and bitter Wrath destroy!" LXXXVI After a literary Silence spake A Manuscript of Henry James's make; "They sneer at me for being so occult: But Kipling's found such Stuff is going to Take!" LXXXVII Whereat some one of the typewritten Lot-- I think it was Cy Brady's--waxing hot-- "All this of Shop and Patter--Tell me then, Who buys--Who reads--the Stuff that boils _my_ Pot?" LXXXVIII "Why," said another, "Some there are who tell Of one who threatens he will toss to Hell The luckless Tales he marr'd in making--Pish! He's a blamed Fool, Any Old Thing will sell!" LXXXIX "Well," murmur'd one, "Let whoso write or buy, My words with long Oblivion are gone dry: But bind me new, let Christy illustrate, Methinks I'd sell at Christmas time; I'll try!" XC So while the Manuscripts were wisely speaking, The Editor came in whom I was seeking: And then they signall'd to me, "Brother! Brother! Yours is rejected! You had best be sneaking!" * * * * * XCI Though Carnegie for Literature provide, He tombs a Body whence the Life has died, And no one seems to turn a single leaf Upon the unfrequented Classic side, XCII Unless to see some First Edition rare, Or curious styles of Binding to compare; Art's True Believers know their Aldus well, But of the Author bound, are unaware! XCIII Indeed, Rare Books that they have yearn'd for long Have done their Literary Taste much wrong: Reprints of Burton will not sell to-day (I mean the stupid Burton) for a Song! XCIV Indeed, such First Editions oft before I envied, but they proved to be a Bore. Why, are not Tenth Editions still more rare? Mine are! Why are they not worth even more? XCV And much as Art has play'd the Infidel And robb'd me of my Royalties--Ah, well, I often wonder what the Women read One half as clever as the Stuff I sell! XCVI Yet Ah, that Spring should come to bring our Woes! That Christmas Season's Sales should ever close! The Book whose praises loud the Critic sang, Is not the one that sells the most, God knows! XCVII Would but these Book Reviewers ever yield One glimpse--if dimly, yet indeed, reveal'd Of what the fainting Traveller can read Worth reading--but the Critic's eyes are seal'd. XCVIII Would but some wingèd Angel bring the News Of Critic who _reads_ Books that he Reviews! And make the stern Reviewer do as well Himself, before he Meed of Praise refuse! XCIX Ah, Love! could you and I perchance succeed In boiling down the Million Books we read Into One Book, and edit that a Bit-- There'd be a WORLD'S BEST LITERATURE, indeed! * * * * * C Oh, rising Author, read Me once again Before my Memory gradually wane! How oft hereafter you may look for me In this same Library--and look in vain! CI And when, dear Reader, _you_ shall chance to spend A night within The Hall of Fame--attend! If, in that blissful call, you find the Spot Where I broke in--don't turn me down, my friend! End of Project Gutenberg's The Rubaiyat of Omar Cayenne, by Gelett Burgess *** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR CAYENNE *** ***** This file should be named 28184-8.txt or 28184-8.zip ***** This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: https://www.gutenberg.org/2/8/1/8/28184/ Produced by Geetu Melwani, Dave Morgan, Martin Pettit and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from scanned images of public domain material from the Google Print project.) Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will be renamed. Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. *** START: FULL LICENSE *** THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at https://gutenberg.org/license). Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works 1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. 1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. 1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. 1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United States. 1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: 1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed: This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org 1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. 1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. 1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. 1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg-tm License. 1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. 1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. 1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided that - You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." - You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work. - You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. 1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. 1.F. 1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. 1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE. 1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem. 1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. 1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. 1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life. Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official page at https://pglaf.org For additional contact information: Dr. Gregory B. Newby Chief Executive and Director gbnewby@pglaf.org Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS. The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit https://pglaf.org While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate. International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: https://www.gutenberg.org This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.