Cool, I almost got called a "cracker".
From: Talon
%
Now if you excuse me, I'll be off conspiring with the machines to help
overthrow humanity.
From: Blumf
%
Advice from people who shoot soccer(futbol) players for scoring in the
wrong goal is not welcome.  Were it not for coffee and hedonism[0],
brazil would just be another prime coca farm.
From: +Dave Sizemore+
%
RTFM pointers to related reading material will be apreciated :D
From: Bilbo
%
The quality of human stupidity is actually pretty uniform. It's just that
Americans have a great publicity machine broadcasting their stupidity.
From: George Georgakis In; AOLS-OT
%
Oh, your a therapist looking for clients, I had you mistaken for a
nutcase looking for fellows.
From: Thomas Overgaard 
%
Do you see where this lends itself to you looking like a fool?
From: Quasipsyco
%
Here, let me explain it to you........ nahhh, *PLONK*
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
np^H^H*PLONK*
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Don't look at him as a troll, look at him as an opportunity to get a
mod quote.
From: Billy Watt
%
Embrace the fact that learning is good.
+Dave Sizemore+
%
I'm still wondering what you are complaining about. 
From: dentonj
%
I'm still trying to figure out the whole point of your post.  Was it
just some mindless ramblings of someone who has nothing better to do?  
From: dentonj
%
You arn't 100% Linux yet.  If you where that would have been "F.* M\$"
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
You /know/ a thread is coming to the end of it's useful life when
folks start quoting *me* to win their positions arguments.  
From: +Cibao+ 
%
No need, Godwin's covers it, it just means you must be Hitler. You
didn't  come from a remote part of Brazil by any chance did you?
From: Blumf
%
Did you say MUGGLE?  Isn't it past your bedtime?  
From: +Dave Sizemore+ 
%
you solved it all by yourself. But what is more important, you
posted your solution to the group as a help for anyone else with the
same problem.
From: Two Ravens
%
Which is, if I might say, why you suck.
From: Quasipsyco
%
don't say *plonk*, i would not survive it...
From: laurent herve
%
untill then, i'll just killfile you.
bye now...
From: Jurgen Philippaerts
%
Did it make your dick hard perchance?
From: +Cibao+ 
%
You're only further proving what a clueless fucking nimrod you are.
From: +Cibao+ 
%
Only a an ignorant coward uses violence as his first means of
resolution.
From: +Cibao+ 
%
there are distros fit for lazy newbies, for the chronicaly
lazy there is windows, and for us geeks there is Slackware.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
if you design for market share, the functionality suffers.
From: William Hunt
%
cibao@raven:~$ mount -t coherent -O redhead,submissive,loop,ro - \
 -p I_love_you -s /dev/lisa /mnt/bed 
From: +Cibao+ 
%
That's not meant to be elitist (although we are) but simply a matter
of practicality.
From: +Cibao+ 
%
Slackware's market share is pretty much limited to those who want to
be in control of their computer, with minimal automagically configured
crap.  Most Slackers would probably move on if it became like "some
distros." 
From: Kurt
%
The thread's dead, baby, the thread's dead.  -- Pulp Usenet
From: +Cibao+ 
%
Now let me ask you a question, poster. When you posted in
here, did you notice a server notice out in front that said,
"Dead post storage"? 	-- Pulp Usenet
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Oh yes, and I almost forgot... this is a Slackware newsgroup, not a
"get your warez here" newsgroup. Try to keep that clear.
From: Cichlidiot
%
it will most likely generate a local increase in the earth's
gravitational field, pulling the moon closer to the earth each time it
passes, so that after a certain amount of time it will collide with
our lovely planet, and thus ending life as we know it... but, apart
from that, there are no bad consequences that i can think of right
now. 
From: Jurgen
%
java, the future language of the past. ;-)
From: Joost Kremers
%
Unlike kids, you can ask parents/custodians of software what's wrong
with their offspring.
From: Keith Keller
%
Slackware + Fluxbox + A freshly compiled kernel = Sweet computer
goodness
From: tsob
%
I compiled myself
From: "serafin"
%
It sounds like you're asking an X-Y question: you post asking how to
do X because you think it will help you accomplish Y, but you don't
mention Y at all.  If you tell us Y, perhaps we can eliminate X
altogether. 
From: Keith Keller
%
Did you see the name of this ng? Yes? Ah, I see, you thought that
Slackware and Suse must be the same thing since they both start with
an 'S'. Well, they aren't.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Down here we do spammers just like we do boar hogs.  First thing to do
is
get one of those big round trash cans you usually only find in cities,
or
a 55 gallon drum (which doesn't work quite as good). Lay the trash can
down on its side and throw some half-rotted tommatoes down in there.
Now,
run your boar... err.... spammer into the trashcan, and stand it up on
its
bottom.  Viola!  Now you have one spammer upside down, in a trashcan
where
he cannot bite you.  Now simply take your pocket knife (which you did
disinfect, right?) and make a couple small cuts. Pull out the balls
one at
a time and cut the things that hold them on. Toss them aside to be
used
later for fish bait. Now doctor up the cuts so they heal quickly, and
lay
the trashcan back down. Get away quickly.
From: Alan Hicks
%
"One night with Slackware"
(sung to the tune of "One Night in Bangkok")
All rights reserved. All apologies to good taste.
(Yes, I have too much time on my hands...)

THE POPE:

Slackware, in the original settings
And the newbie don't know what the newbie is getting
The creme de la creme of the Linux world in a
distro with everything but Yul Brynner

Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute
Since AOLS had some newbie questions in it
All change -- don't you know that when you
compute at this level there's no ordinary menu

There's Google, or the 'man pages' -- or 'Info' 
- -- or -- or this place!

NEWBIES:

One night in Slackware and the world's your oyster
The newsgroups are temples but the clues ain't free
You'll be agog in every man page you enter
And if I'm lucky then someone will answer me
I can feel an Bozo sliding up to me

THE POPE:

One group's very like another
When the pleas for help overwhelm you, brothers

BOZOS:

It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the posts, not flaming all the newbies

THE POPE:

Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking group --

TROLLS:

Windows, it's too sweet (too sweet)
My XP rebooted only 10x's last week.

THE POPE:

We get tired, talking to the purists
Whose every whine is about the tourists
*WE* choose how to spend our time, sunshine

NEWBIES:

One night in Slackware makes a hard man humble
Not much between fsck and ecstasy
One night in Slackware and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your root shell, see?
I can feel a Bozo walking next to me

THE POPE:

Slaclkware's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
crummy old BeOS or declining Amiga

And thank Pat I'm only watching the group -- controlling it --

I don't see you guys racing to
answer the repeated questions, daily
We'd like to help, we really would, mind you
But the clues we'd give would not excite you.

So you better go back to your GUI's, your lame excuses, 
your Microsoft Windows --

NEWBIES:

One night in Slackware and the world's your oyster
The groups are temples but the clues ain't free
You'll find a clue in every golden answer
A little LART, a little history
I can feel an Bozo sliding up to me

One night in Slackware makes a hard man humble
Not much between fsck and my new GUI
One night in Slackware and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful around the BOZOS, see?
I can feel a LART being aimed at me
From: +Cibao+
%
for TROLL in $(find alt/os/linux/slackware -usertype troll); do
sed -e 's#Score::\ =-9999#Score::\ =-9999\nFrom:\ $TROLL#g' \
~/News/Score > /tmp/Score.tmp
mv /tmp/Score.tmp ~/News/Score
echo \*PLONK\* > $TROLL
done
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
Windows [pron: win-doze]: one of the preliminary level OSs aimed at
non-professional users with low educational level. Along with hot-dog,
pop-corn, and cola, W. is a typical example of American mass culture
of the end of the 20th century.  Due to its simplified GUI (the idea
of which had been taken from MacOS and X Window System), W. became
widely spread among kids, secretaries, housekeepers etc. and also in
former Soviet countries, where it is easier to buy a CD with W. (for a
couple of bucks) than to download Linux.
From: mojo
%
You haven't read +Cibao+ until you've read him in the original +Chiron+.
From: tsob
%
Source code - The Only REAL Package Management System.
From: tsob
%
"errors can be solved by correcting the lines that generate them in
the config file"
From: Jurgen Philippaerts
%
while bored ; do
    find alt/os/linux/slackware -usertype troll -exec abuse {} \;
    echo \*PLONK\*
done
From: William Hunt
%
Now there's a brilliant strategy -- your crippled hardware isn't
working properly, so you're going to install a crippled distro to fix
it? 
From: Keith Keller
%
I guess the smell of shit in cowtown prevents you from using your head
for anything other than a rectal plug.
From: tsob
%
Now go and tell your mother that you have been a very bad troll, and
ask her to spank you _soundly_ with the business end of a '72 Buick
LeSabre.
From: tsob
%
WWPD (What Would Pat Do?)
From: tsob
%
With Slackware all the chicks are for free.
Who needs sun glasses? ;-)
From: Shin
%
Will the real +Cibao+ please stand up...? 
From: /dev/rob0
%
allegence could be better spent sorting through pr0n, making
ascii pr0n, tinkering with the code, helping on the Good Book,
masterbating, eating good food, reading this and other newsgroups,
sleeping, having sex, reading a book, potting a plant, drinking,
updating the killfile, bashing trolls, giving clues to the deserving,
googling for further education, polishing the bat for it's next use
From: Quasipsyco
%
if(Jim==wearing_flameproof_suit){
printf("and why not go the whole hog and learn to type with your toes
- you'll find it as natural as using vi or its infernal spawn!");
}
From: Jim Ford
%
"I am +Cibao+'s total lack of surprise".
From: Andreas Cammin
%
I understand. Resistance is futile. We all serve the great and
powerful a.o.l.s.
From: tsob
%
Thank you for abusing my mind so thoughtlessly. You are truly one of
the lowest evolved forms of pancreatic pus to have ever wasted my
bandwidth.  You should take up a new hobby... say Russian roulette
with a Glock 9. Your post is tedious and mind numbingly dense. I hope
you get anally routed with a belt sander. Go back to flinging feces
with the rest of your species 
From: tsob
%
I know what it is like to be anally routed with a belt sander.
From: tsob
%
the OS you are installing/using might be, in some circumstances,
regarded as 'easy'. However, easy is not the same as simple, Slackware
is simple, and therefore easier to learn, (notnecessarily the same
thing as to operate). 
From: Two Ravens
%
Oh WOW!  Another person posting from Mozilla who doesn't know the
difference between a "email client" and a "news client" because they
use a "web client" as a "news client".
Although I shouldn't talk.  I use emacs as an editor.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
This would appear to be a chronic case of recto-cranial
inversion, as opposed to a recurrance of same.
From: /dev/rob0
%
Get your head out of your fuzzy little butt and learn how to post
appropriate questions, and you won't be flamed (or, at least, you
won't deserve to be flamed).
From: Keith Keller
%
Slackware is the operation system of choice "fur harte
Manner". They do not drink Jolt Cola, they drink Budweisser....
From: Freind of "laurent herve"
%
You'll either become an expert on reinstalling from scratch, or
develop a morbid fear of the 'rm' command!
From: Andy McDowell
%
You can't get help from pissed people.  It is a bit like poking a
badger with a spoon.
From: Faux_Pseudo
%
Well, to put it quietly, there lie your problems :)
What about at least posting a few 4 or 5 first errors you get
just like we wont have to use the crystal ball again ?
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Maybe try to get, say one spare hour and read the docs
before starting the fan again ?
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Check if it's a boy, lilo, reboot, have a drink
restart menuconfig, adapt, redo the build, check
if it's a girl, cheers up, post your success here ;)

And in case it's coming legs first, please describe what you see,
I just remembered I had to leave my crystal ball for a friend
running XP as for guessing the number of reboots per day.
From: Loki Harfagr
%
Problems always vanish after you post a question
From: DB
%
You are not ready for slackware.  Save yourself a lot of trouble and
go buy a Mac.  Then you can be a hip non-confirmist without actually
being responsible for your decisions.
From: thrugoodmarshall
%
QoS rocks harder than Nine Inch Nails at a Lowlands festival, on acid!
From: Andy McDowell
%
The text which was originally here was snipped by "Trollfilter
Deluxe". It really works! Send me $200 today, and I will explain to
you in detail how you can be your own "Trollfilter Deluxe". Order today
and you will get a 10% discount. Hundreds of satisfied customers have
had the pleasure of seeing trolls starve to death. Order now! I accept
Cash and Checks, all your data will be kept confidential.
From: Bartosz Oudekerk
%
"It"? You mean good old /bin/ping? Are you saying that
somehow you managed to break ping?
I've never heard of anyone doing that before.
From: /dev/rob0
%
Being successful at installing and running RedHat != being successful
at learning Linux.
From: Jonathan A.
%